Asking for a Reference
Many folks and most students do not know how to ask for a reference. As a professor I find reference forms, under my door, in my mail box, or handed to me during a chance meeting in the halls. The person asking for a reference that way has already put at least one negative comment on it: they have weak interpersonal skills.
- Pick only people who:
- Know you well
- You are sure will give you a very positive reference
- Schedule a time to meet with the potential reference.
- Ask for thirty minutes of their time.
- The purpose of the meeting is "To discuss my future plans."
- Do NOT use the word reference when setting up the appointment.
- Leave your calendar open for at least thirty minutes after the appointment. You don't not want to be in a rush to leave. The meeting may go longer then planned. You may need time to think when it is over.
- Fill in your part of the reference form
- Your name and other information on the form
- Sign the release form about seeing the contents of the reference. Most people will not fill out a reference without your signature there. Also not signing the release makes it look like you have something to hide. If you think this person is biased against you then don't use them as a reference.
- Address the return envelope and put the correct postage on it!
- Meet with the person.
- Be early for the appointment.
- Talk about what you plan to do.
- Ask for their advice. This is a complement to them.
- Decide again, in your own mind, if you want to use this person as a reference.
- At the very end of meeting ask them if they will write a positive reference for you.
- Thank the person for their time, and if you have asked them to write a reference, thank them to writing a positive reference.
- When the get accepted for the new position, write and thank the person for being a reference. This way they will be inclined to write another reference for you later.
